A list of doctor jokes and medical humor that will tickle the funny bones of patients and doctors alike. These medical jokes and doctor puns are guaranteed to be gutbusters in any emergency room.
Those of us who never took the Hippocratic Oath love doctor jokes. And why not? At some point in everyone’s life, we all have to go to see a doctor. One might say that our lives begin and end with doctors, but that’s super dark and we don’t really want to go there. Instead, we’ll ask: what's the best part of being a doctor? Is it almost a decade of med school or or is it the free scrubs? The white coats? The fancy car? All the free meds? No way, it’s the jokes! From general practitioners to foot specialists, no physician can resist a good doctor joke.
It’s got to be tough to be a doctor, though. Not only does everyone think you have all the answers, but you work insane hours with little thanks beyond your giant paycheck. What better way to express gratitude than with good-natured medical jokes? From puns to one-liners, we’ve got every funny joke that the doctor ordered on this list. Our prescription: take two, wait a couple hours, and take two more as needed.
Vote up the funniest jokes about doctors, and if you’ve got a good enough co-pay, feel free to tell us your own doctor jokes in the comment section.
The Best Doctor Jokes,
Why Did the Grasshopper Go to the Doctor?
Because he felt jumpy.
What Did the Doctor Say to the Man Who Thought He Was a Vampire?
"Necks please!"
Does an Apple a Day Really Keep the Doctor Away?
If you aim well enough.
What's the Difference Between God and a Surgeon?
God doesn’t think he's a surgeon.
Yo Mama So Stupid...
She made an appointment with Dr. Pepper!
What Did the Doctor Say to the Computer?
This won't hurt a byte.
Why Did Dracula Go to the Doctor?
He couldn't stop coffin!
What Did the Doctor Advise When We Broke Our Leg in Two Places?
To stop going to those places.
Why Do Surgeons Wear Masks?
So no one will recognize them when they make a mistake.
What Did One Tonsil Say to the Other?
Get dressed, the doctor is taking us out tonight!