A list of engineer jokes, puns, and humor, ranked by people who know the difference between mechanical engineers, electrical engineers, and everyone in between. If it's a funny, quick joke about engineering, you'll find it here.
In the hope of being completely transparent, we should let you know that we have no idea what engineers do. We think they fix stuff, but maybe it’s something else? We know they don’t drive trains, or at least we think they don’t drive trains. Maybe that’s what they get up to in their spare time, if they even have any spare time. In order to say thank you to the men and women who spend countless hours chained to a desk making sure out buildings don’t fall down and that our software works correctly, we’ve put together a list of the funniest jokes about engineers from across the web.
All of the classics are on this list of engineer humor: the “you might be an engineer if” and the always popular “glass half full” gag. If you’re an engineer, you’re in for a real treat. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. Hopefully you have a friend with a master's degree in aeronautics or project management that can explain them to you.
Vote on your favorite joke about engineers and engineering. If we left your favorite zinger about the nerds that build and fix the things we don’t even understand, then stick it in the comments (preferably with a little duct tape).
The Funniest Engineer Jokes,
What Did the Force Say to the Distance?
We’re having a moment!
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
What Do Engineers Use as Birth Control?
Their personalities.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Seeking a Boyfriend in Engineering:
The odds are good but the goods are always odd.
How Do You Drive an Engineer Insane?
Make them watch as you fold up a road map the wrong way.
What's the Difference Between Doctors and Engineers?
Doctors only kill people one at a time.
How Many Nuclear Engineers Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
If You're an Optimist, the Glass Is Half Full
If you're a pessimist, it's half empty. If you're an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.