Lawyers are allegedly the worst. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. So prepare your depositions and place your right hand on the holy book of your choice, because you’re going to laugh about lawyers like you’ve never laughed before after reading this list of lawyer one liners.
Inside you’ll find a joke about lawyers for every occasion. Whether you’re attending a party full of the lawyers or if your best friend just got out of a tough court case, we have the joke for you. And don’t worry future lawyers, you can laugh at these jokes too. After all, when you’re elbow deep in cash from all the ambulance chasing you do, you won’t care what anyone says about you.
Vote on what you think is the funniest lawyer joke!
The Best Lawyer Jokes,
What Do Dinosaurs And Good Lawyers Have In Common?
They're both extinct.
What's The Difference Between A Lawyer And A Leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
What's The Difference Between An Accountant And A Lawyer?
Accountants know they're boring.
What Do You Call A Lawyer With An IQ Of 50?
Senator
What Do You Call A Lawyer With An IQ Of 100?
Your honor
What's The Difference Between A Female Lawyer And A Pitbull
Lipstick
What Do You Call A Smiling, Nice Person At A Bar Association Convention?
The caterer.
What's The Difference Between A Good Lawyer And A Bad Lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
What's The Difference Between A Lawyer And A Boxing Referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.